say you’re just looking to have fun.
don’t tell her about the last time this happened.
plan on staying away from beds and grabby hands.
plan on forgetting for once.
lay in bed anyway because you trust her.
debate if that’s wise.
contemplate the universe and what dying feels like.
decide it sounds like her laughter.
feel like dying.
let her hold you.
try to decide if you want to remember this tomorrow.
whisper into her mouth that you love her.
let her shakily toss it back.
lie to yourself.
say you’ll forget.
wake up with her in the other bed.
complain about the headache.
don’t complain about the lack of warmth.
she’ll ask if you remember last night.
be hurt when she does too.
write poetry about how you don’t care.